Been such a long time since I wrote a post! Colton is 3 months now!

I have been really bad about keeping up this blog but I am going to try to write in it more often!  Colton is now 3 months old!!  It has been a great 3 months with lots of ups and downs but just amazing.  I am so Thankful for every moment I have with little Colton!  So I am just going to look back starting with Colton's end of NICU stay and just some up Colton first 3 months.

Colton was in the NICU for 12 days!  Way shorter then any doctor had told us.  He was doing amazing!  About 2 days after Colton got his brain surgery to put his shunt in, his shunt got clogged and his neurosurgeon went in and had to tap it (put a needle into the "reservoir" part of his shunt and take some fluid it and just flush it)  And after that Colton shunt worked great!  Drained the fluid so well.  His head was at 46cm and got down to 37 1/2cm.  Majority of Colton stay in the NICU was very smooth just working on getting Colton to drink more from his bottle.  His goal was to get 60cc down before the doctors would take out his feeding tube.  At about 10 days old he got his feeding tube out and went home at 12 days old!

In Colton first couple of months he only had a few down moments (we are so thankful)  His shunt was starting to drain a little to well so we had an MRI done which showed that Colton head drain to fast then then caused there to be subdrual fluid on the outside of Colton brain.  But luckily it wasn't putting any pressure of his brain and we would just lay him flat as much as possible to slow down the shunt drainage.  Colton had a follow up CT scan about 2 weeks later and it showed the fluid on the outside to be going down so we continue to just lay him flat as much as possible.  3 weeks later another CT scan showed that they fluid was going down even more!!  And that Colton had more fluff!  Colton Brain matter keeps expand with every CT scan we have!  The doctor's have Colton diagnosis as Semi-lobar HPE and of course the Hydrocephalus.  But with the past CT scan his neurologist said that that diagnosis might not be true and we might not be dealing with HPE at all.  He may have another type of brain malformation.  So we are just going to wait and see how Colton brain expands and figure out his diagnosis later for now we are just going to enjoy and love on him as much as we can!

Colton started to smile at 2 months old and at 2 1/2 months old started to coo!!  And his head control is getting a lot better!  At about 2 months old he was just started to be able to hold is head up a little.  And now at 3 months old Colton can (sometimes)  hold his head up for 2-3 mins at a time while laying on his belly with a little pillow under him.  He is doing so amazing!  We are so proud of him! And we are so unbelievably thankful!  He is such a Miracle and we Thank God everyday for giving him to us!  He is such an amazing boy!!


Colton head when he was over draining:

Sleeping so peacefully 

Colton 2 months old!

Baby first Holiday- Halloween!

Colton 3 months old:

He is such a handsome little boy:

Holding his head up so well (3months old):

He is getting such a personality lately!

precious Colton smiles!

Day of Surgery for Shunt Placement.. and Colton first 2 days.

Day 1-
Colton is doing really well.  He is on a warmer to help keep his temperature up.  The nurses think because his head is so big and there are no hats to fit him that is why he is having a hard time with his temperature.  He nursed for the first time the night after he was born.  All the doctors are so amazed my how well he is doing.  We are so thankful for him!  He is such a strong, amazing, determined little boy!!

Day 2: (day of surgery) August 11, 2011
Colton had his last feed at 3am.  He got wheeled of to surgery at about 7:15am.  Brad went down to stay with him until he left for surgery (brad was there about 6am).  I stayed back at our room because I went down for every feed the night before and ended up bruising right next to my cut from the c-section.  When brad finally made it back to the room and told me he left for surgery I was so nervous and started to tear up.  I knew he was going to go but it just scared me to know my baby boy was about to get brain surgery done.  The doctors told Brad that it would take 2-3 hours for surgery.  It seemed like a long time but Brad reassured me it was normal.  The couple of hours past and I was so nervous the whole time I kept looking at the clock and just wondering how he was doing and how everything was.  I cried a couple of times and just felt so sick to my stomach the whole time... I mean what mom wouldn't feel nervous/anxious if there son was going through what my son was.  After the 3 hour mark Colton still wasn't back from surgery.... now I was really starting to freak... wondering if something went wrong, wondering if Colton was okay.  Finally 4 hours after they wheeled Colton of to surgery the Neurosurgeon came into our room to let us know how it went.  She told us everything went great!  The shunt was in with not a lot of trouble... she did tell us that when she was putting the extra tubing into his belly she tried to put to much in and then how to redo the tubing in the belly (she was just trying to put in as much as possible so when Colton grew he had enough tubing to last a while).  Then the Neurosurgeon told us that Colton was able to come off the Ventilator and was on a little bit of oxygen.  She said he was back in the NICU and that we could visit him.. So after she got done talking to us about what to expect with the shunt we went to the NICU.  When we first walked in and I saw him, I felt so bad for him... His shunt tubing in his head all the way to his belly was really red... and he looked so out of it.  He was hooked up to lots of things and was still on oxygen.  The tubing look really big for him you could basically read the writing on it...  His skin was really stretched from his head being so big that is why we could see the tubing so well.  But we knew this surgery is what he needed so we were thankful he got it and hoping this will help him tons! I was just so thankful that he was okay that he made it through surgery and that he was doing great!!  He is such a strong little boy!  And we are just so blessed to have him for a son!!

Colton starting to get prep for surgery:

Colton getting wheeled down to surgery:

Right After Surgery:

Colton was only on oxygen for a couple of hours and they were able to completely take him off from it and he was breathing just room air!  And the shunt already seems to be draining his head already looks small and he eyes don't seem as pulled back from his head being so big.  Hoping he recovers well from surgery and hoping tomorrow he will start to eat again. Stay Strong Colton James!  And we love you!!

First time I got to hold my baby boy!

After my husband left the OR and went with Colton to the NICU I was so nervous.  I couldn't help but wonder how he was doing and if he really was doing as well as Brad had told me he was.  The doctors got done sewing me up and wheeled me down to the recovery room.  After a little bit the medicine started to wear off and I was definitely feeling the pain of a c-section.  After what seemed like forever Brad finally came in to check on me and give me an update on Colton.  He said that he was doing great, breathing on his own and just perfect!  He showed me some pictures he took on the camera.  I thought he was the most amazing, adorable little boy ever! Just perfect!  Brad went back to the NICU to be with Colton.  And I was brought to my room.. still is a lot of pain.  About 6 hours after Colton was born I got to see him, to meet him!  I was so nervous and excited!  When I got to the NICU I started to cry.. seeing all these little baby some doing well and other not doing to well... made me nervous.  Then when I got to Colton little bed, and I saw his little face.. I was so happy!  The nursed got him out of his bed and gave him to me to hold.. I wasn't sure even how to hold him because his head was pretty big.. I was so nervous that I was going to hurt his poor head.  I just looked at him and was crying so hard and I just sat there thanking God.  Thanking him for giving me Colton, Thanking him for Colton here and doing well!  I will never forget the first time I held him... After months of not knowing if he was going to make it, if I would ever be able to hold him for the first time.. and he is here and I am holding him.  He is the most precious, perfect, amazing baby boy I have even seen.  I love you Colton James!  Keep Strong baby boy!

Brad's first time holding his baby boy!

Colton is Here! August 9th, 2011

Colton James was born on August 9th, 2011 at 11:10am.
Weight- 7 lbs 4 oz.  Length- 22 inches.  Head- 45 cm

I went into the hospital at 6:30 am for my schedule c-section.  After a long wait I finally got into a room and set up with an IV and got everything ready for the c-section.  It was time for me to walk to the OR when the doctor came in and said they had a emergency c-section come up so we were bumped to a little bit later time.  I was getting so anxious to meet our little man.  I was worried how it would all go and if he would be okay, it seemed like the time went by sooo slowly.  Finally it was our turn to go to the OR.  When I walked in there were 20+ people in this little OR room trying to get everything set up.. it seemed like everyone was running around like crazy.  I was getting really nervous, felt faint and started to cry, it was so overwhelming in there with all the people, I could hear the NICU team going over how to resuscitate a baby, and the doctors going over there plan as to how they were going to cut me and if they couldn't get him out to cut vertical.  Everything/everybody was just going a million miles/ hour... Then they got the spinal in and put the blue paper in front of my face and it seems like a century went by before they said he is out... I waited for a cry... and then he did, he cried, just a little cry and then from the corner of my eye I saw this little baby fly by my head and on the warmer.  I couldn't really see what they were doing to him but there was probably about 6+ people just circled around him.. this was the scariest moment of my life... I just cried and prayed... Pray for everything to be okay, pray for him to cry again... and then he did, he started screaming and crying!  And Brad looked at him and said Colton is fine, he is doing great and just gave me this look like everything is going to be fine. I was so relieved! He had a little bit of fluid that they suctioned out and gave him a little bit of oxygen but then he was fine!!  He got a 8 out of 10 at 1 min old then at 5 mins old a 9 out of 10.  I could help but cry, I was crying so hard I could barely see him when they brought him over to me.  I was so happy, so thankful that he was okay, he was breathing, that he was HERE!  Then Brad went with the NICU team to take Colton to the NICU and double check to make sure he was okay.  Colton was only on oxygen for a couple of mins just to help him breath a little better!  I couldn't believe it!  Words can not describe how awesome it felt to hear him cry and to know he was okay!  He is a Miracle, He is our Miracle!

Pregnancy up to 36 weeks

December 19th, 2010- we found out that we were expecting baby #3!!

december 22 2010- We had our first ultrasound.  We didn't know how far a long I was so they did an ultrasound and we found out I was about 4 weeks along.  So I found out I was pregnant about 3- 31/2 weeks along!

January 5th 2011- went in for another ultrasound just to make sure there was a baby and not just an empty sac and we got a surprise.  They thought we had 2 babies!!  But they say a yolk sac in one and not in the other sac.  So the doctor told us to go in for another ultrasound in a few weeks to see if there was in fact two babies.

January 25th 2011-  Went in for another ultrasound and found out that there was just one baby and one sac.  They think the 2nd sac vanished.  But we were just excited that we had one little baby to love on!

Everything went pretty smoothly the next few months. I was very very tired and was really struggling keeping up with the girls and being in the first trimester.  Once the second trimester hit I got a bit of relief but I was still not having a ton of energy.  Luckily my husband was so understanding and helped out a ton!  I didn't get morning sickness and was only very tired and couldn't get enough water!  I was drink sooo much water everyday.  But other then that a really great pregnancy!!

April 29th, 2011-  I went in for the normal 20 week ultrasound.  I was actually 22 weeks and 2 days because we had to push back the ultrasound because of Brad's work.  I wasn't as excited as I was with my past two pregnancies but I think that was because we weren't going to find out the gender until our little one was born.  So as we got the ultrasound done everything was fine with the baby as first (heart, lungs, stomach, and size was all great) and then the ultrasound tech looked at out baby brain.... and she wasn't to sure what to say.  All I remember he saying is there seems to be some extra fluid in the brain but I am going to get the doctor to look at it just wait here while I get him... The doctor came in and everything was quiet and he kept saying these really big words to the tech and told us that he had some pretty devastating news to tell us.  He walked out of the room to get another lady to look at in and all I could do was crying... it seemed like everything was so crazy, there were like 4-5 people in the room look at his brain and throwing all these big words out and not telling us anything that was going on.  I looked at brad and just cried.  Finally the doctor told us they they think the baby has quite a big of extra fluid on the brain... and from there I could barely hear anything... it's almost like I blacked out.  He was telling us that most likely out baby will have severe brain problems and probably won't do well in life... He asked us if we wanted to Terminate the pregnancy.  I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  I mean i just came into the appointment thinking okay we will get to see out baby and I will force myself not to find out the gender because my husband doesn't want to... but I had no clue this is what I was going to be told.  The doctors didn't really just us any clue as to what the baby had they just said it was severe and we should really think about terminating the pregnancy.  He suggested an Amino so we could find out if there was a chromosome deformation and other things a long that line.  So I agreed with a ton of hesitation to get the Amino... It was very painful and I hope I never have to do that again.  But the whole appointment and day I seemed to be in a daze not really knowing what was going on and all I could do was cry and think why my baby... why us??

May 4th 2011- We in for a fetal MRI.  Everything went smoothly and the baby coorporated and they got the pictures they needed.  About a week or two later we found out that the MRI did show Hydrocephalus and semi-lobar HPE and partial agenesis of the corpus callosum.

May 9th 2011-  We went in for a second option out in town a civilian doctors office.  We went for the ultrasound and again it was a very quite appointment and then tech seemed a little unsure of what he was seeing.. But we did find out the gender of our baby on accident, we didn't tell him that we not wanting to know so he told us congrats on the baby BOY...  and we looked at each other completely surprised!  I couldn't believe it!  I really thought we were having another little girl.  We were sooo happy.  But then the doctor came in to go over the ultrasound and what he found... he told us that our baby has Severe Hydrocephalus, and semi-lobar holoprosencephaly.  He kinda explain what they were but had us meet with the genetic con. to help us understand more on what our baby had.  She explain to us how severe it was, and how most likely our baby won't do everything a normal person would do.  She even told us that our baby probably won't be compatible to life.  She suggested we terminate the pregnancy.

The next few days were the hardest days of my life.  We went back and forth about either we should keep this baby boy... with all the doctors telling us out baby won't make it through this pregnancy and won't be compatible with life, I couldn't help but think if we should keep the baby.  And I barely slept, barely eat and cried for 3 days straight. I felt horrible for the girls because I couldn't be the mother they needed.

May 11th 2011- we decided at about 11pm that we wanted to keep the baby.  That we knew he got put in our lived for a reason and it wasn't to terminate him.  No matter what the outcome we knew that he is our son and we will fight for him.  It was a really hard decision but i am SOOO happy with what we decided... looking back I don't know how I even thought about it.  But with how the doctors were talking it was like they were talking us into it and that we had to terminate for the baby's sake.  We finally decided by doing a pro/cons list... we listed out for terminating and not terminating the baby.  It seems pretty harsh but it was the only way we could think of to help us make this decision.  I was so relieved that we finally did and so relieved with our decision.

May 12th 2011- We in for another ultrasound and we told the doctors our decision to keep the baby.  They seemed mad and kept telling us our baby wasn't going to be compatible with life and that there was just to many thing wrong with his brain. I was really upset and cried a lot that day.  I couldn't believe how heartless the doctors were being and how they couldn't see how we felt and how we thought it was meant to be.

May 25th 2011- Had another ultrasound today.  Baby is measuring 1 lbs 14 oz and his head is measuring 2 weeks ahead.  His head seems to be staying the same size so that is a good thing.  He is our little fighter and seems to be doing okay right now.

June 7th 2011- another ultrasound today (27 weeks 6days)  Baby head has gone up from measuring 2 weeks ahead to 4 weeks ahead.  Not good but it was expected.  It worries me a lot, but he is still going strong and not showing any signs of stress or anything else wrong with him besides everything in the brain.  Be strong baby boy!!

June 9th 2011- I feel really overwhelmed today.  It seems like the doctors are so negative and it so hard to take every appointment.  I just want to be positive and hope for the best but it doesn't seem like it isn't possible.  I am having anxiety attacks and crying randomly... I can't even look at a little baby, I just cry.  How can a little tiny baby make me cry... I feel so depressed I don't know what to do.

June 19th 2011- We won a Nap Nanny!  I am so excited! I can't believe how many people voted!  It just warms my heart so much to know so many people care so much about us and our baby boy!  I can't wait for him to be here so I can use the Nap Nanny!  And now I know our baby will sleep the best way he can and his shunt hopefully won't malfunction!  Thank you Nap Nanny and every who voted!!!

June 22nd 2011-  Went in for another ultrasound.  Baby head is measuring 6 weeks ahead now... So his head is measuring at 36 weeks and I am only 30 weeks.  All we can do is pray for a miracle.  We decided that I am going to need a c-section because his head is just to big.  Which I am okay with,  I wish I could do a normal labor but this is what is best for him and I would do anything for my baby boy. Praying, Praying, Praying.

June 2nd 2011-  A couple of my amazing friends through us a baby shower!  It was so nice to have so positive thing happen involving the baby!  We got a ton of amazing things and it was just a really nice day!  I feel like this baby is so strong and still with us for a reason!  He is going to show the doctors!  Keep strong baby boy!

June 7th 2011-  We in for a fetal Echo and to meet the NICU team.  The Echo came out normal and they don't expect anything wrong with the baby's heart! yay!  And the NICU team seems so nice and reassured us that they are willing to do anything for the baby! It's such a relief to know that there ARE doctors on our side and they are thinking our baby will make it!! Also went out in town to a doctor and got an ultrasound done... this doctor thinks the same thing. And also thinks this baby has IUGR... so more bad things to come at the baby.  This doctor doesn't think our baby will make it either.  I just don't get how the NICU team can be so positive and all the OB doctors are so negative... but like i said before, this baby is going to show them all they are wrong!  Be strong baby boy! and also baby head is measuring 7 1/2 weeks ahead now... about 39 weeks now.

July 8th 2011- started going to NST testing twice a week.  Baby is doing well and fluid is an 11.

July 10th 2011- Maternity shoot!!!!!!! so excited!!!!

July 12th 2011- Found out our c-section is scheduled for August 9th 2011!!! Then we will finally get to meet our baby boy!!!!!! Also had an ultrasound done.  Baby is measuring 4 lbs 9 oz and his head is 8 weeks ahead about 41 weeks. Heartbeat was 148.

July 13th 2011- Met with the Neurosurgeon today.  She seemed really nice and like she knew what she was talking about.  She said that she thinks the baby has Lobar HPE.  And Severe hydro and probably will get shunt surgery at about 2-3 days old.

August 2nd 2011- Ultrasound today. Baby is measuring about 6 1/2 lbs.  Head is measuring about 41 cm, he was taking practice breathes!  He seems to be doing pretty well, just the fluid in his head keeps getting bigger and bigger.  Still praying for a miracle.  36 weeks tomorrow!!!

Please pray for our baby boy!  He really could use all the prayers.  We are just hoping and praying for a miracle... Praying for Our little miracle Colton.  Love you little guy.

Starting a Blog about Colton James

With Colton arriving in just a few days I thought I would start a blog to keep everyone updated on him.  Our little Colton James was diagnosis with Fetal Hydrocephalus, holoprosencephaly, and agenesis of the corpus callosum.  He is our little fighter!  Even when all the doctors had no faith he would make it, he proved them wrong!  Now I am 36 weeks pregnant and about to deliver him and the doctors are shocked that he is still as strong as ever.  I am going to do a couple of posts to kinda of sum up the pregnancy and all that we have gone through.  And then in just a few days I will be posting about his arrival!!